Just as a quick disclaimer: this blog entry is going to be in English. Why? Well, to be honest- I don't really know. I just feels "more right" for me to do it in English at the moment. Just don't ask...
Btw if you didn't realize it yet, on the right side is a thing called "Meine Oranisation", if you click on it you will come to the website of my organisation, for all of those who are interested!
Well...if you can read you probably already saw that this post is going to be about the disadvantages of my exchange year.
I know that this isn't something someone would write about in a blog where you want to encourage people to do the same you did, but I think that it is just as important to talk about the bad things than the good ones. (all of the written things are just my own opinion and don't have to apply for your experience)
Missing people
The probably biggest and worst problem is the fact that you are going to miss your family and friends.
Of course everyone had this situation in their life where they missed a certain person. I know exactly how this feels since a part of my family lives 800km away from my home and I only get to see them once a year, if I'm lucky.
So I expected it to be bad and I thought that I knew what was ahead of me but no. I absolutely didn't!
If you never spend a long time separated from your loved ones you will never know how this feels. This pain, this horrible emptiness. It is impossible to explain how it is. You are just alone, lost and feel like you have no one. You feel like your whole world stopped turning and your heart was ripped out and a car drove over it.
I know that sounds like I'm lovesick or describe the scene in a romantic movie where the protagonists break each others hearts. But it kind of feels like that actually.
Many people told me that they knew how I feel, but they don't! You will never know how this feels until you feel it yourself. I never really talked to anyone about this so I don't know how they feel, if I'm the only exchange student who feels this way or if the others do as well. Probably it's just a mixture of me being over-emotional and having such a good relationship with my parents and friends. I don't know...
Expectations vs. reality
If you want it or not you are going to dream about how your exchange year could be before you leave, but let me tell you: it's not going to be like that. I don't want to destroy your dreams, but honestly: it is never like you expected it to be.
But before you doubt everything you are planning to do: there is hope!
In my case my hostfamily was just as I expected it to be! My school wasn't, that is why I changed. And guess what: the new one wasn't perfect as well. But I made it so!
It is your own job to make the things like you dreamt them! Change the things you don't like and make them like your expectations were. And let me promise you: once you did that it is going to be amazing!!
Love...or something like that...
British boys...I don't think that I have to say more. For someone like me, a girl from the mountains that only knows how to wear a dirndl, drink beer and eat pretzels (they are called Brezen btw) seeing people not wearing a leather-trousers are something special. No, but seriously English boys are hot. Not all of them, but everywhere you look you see someone that looks good! Ok, they probably wouldn't look that good if they didn't have that British English.
But when it comes to that one point where you start liking one certain boy (or girl, whatever you prefer) it's just like at home. You are either lucky and he likes you back, or not. It is as simple as that.
But what if you fall in love and then have to leave him? Well, I don't know, I don't have a boyfriend here...but my friend does and I asked her about that and the only thing she said was "Don't even ask...I don't want to hear about it". I think that says everything.
School
Double the work. Ok, maybe not exactly but still. You need to do the work from your school here. And if you are "lucky" like me you have to write a 2000-word essay about God, Jesus and (feels like) 5000000 different scholars who all basically think the same, nearly every week. Yes, school here is much easier. No daily lesson revision-tests, no exams in every of the 12 subjects we have at home (4 big ones per year in the main-subjects, and many smaller ones all over the year), only 3-4 subjects at all. But still. Just the fact being in another country and having no clue how it works makes it so much harder to do work.
But time at home doesn't stand still as well. They are continuing to do work and learn new things. Well, I am supposed to do all the work and study and learn the things they did. Honestly, that's so hard. To even open all the 35 pages of maths-work your friend sent you and you have to learn...This is killing me.
Leaving
I know, I still have 2,5 months left but still...I'm already thinking about leaving. And this thought kills me. This journey has been such an amazing experience and I never want to stop feeling like I do right now. I never want to leave the country I fell so absolutely in love with. I don't want to leave the beautiful family I have here, the amazing friends I made, the idea of being responsible for most of the things I do. And the "not worrying about my grades" of course.
But what can I do?
My first friends are leaving in 5 weeks, a friend already left. And let me tell you: it is horrible. It is not going to be like it was before. It is never going to be like that again.
And the worst part is that they are all going to continue their life without you. You will never be a part of their life again. There are going to be new exchange students next year who are going to have the time of their lives just like you did, but it is going to be over, forever. This time is never going to come back!
So, what if I tell you that this list could go on forever?
Of course there are bad sides! If you thought that being an exchange student is just fun and perfect then you are wrong. It's not easy, and just because I don't get graded doesn't mean that I am not doing work. I am writing essays, dealing with school at home and in England, I am dealing with life, just like everyone does and the fact that I am in another country doesn't make that go away!
I've heard that so many times "oh, it's so easy, you have to do nothing, I wish I was you!" Well, is easier yes, but it's not easy at all. Do it yourself and you will know what I mean.
Anyway, that were some of the things I just wanted to say, or write in my case. I think that it is so important to also talk about the bad things! I wish someone would have told me that before.
All of the things above don't make my adventure any less amazing and beautiful, I think they even make it better and more challenging anything else would just be boring!
Enjoy your day/night and stay awesome!
P.s.: Pictures will be added later
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